paneled pants: what a concept.

Two things I don’t particularly love are shopping for clothes and the Mall of America. Yesterday, A and I went shopping for MATERNITY clothes…at the Mall of America. We learned more than we ever imagined could be learned about maternity wear. It was like solving a really hard puzzle: finding enough things to wear for a short period of time that spans three seasons without buying an entirely new wardrobe. I was a trooper, just ask her. And I like a good puzzle, so it was strangely fun. The learning curve lay under the hood so to speak and can be summed up in a single word – panels. While the shirts all have their tent-like accommodation, the real creative tailoring comes in the pants. Whether its trousers for work, capris and jeans for casual wear, or a good ol’ pair of sweat pants for around the house, they all have this built-in super-wide elastic band that stretches along with the growing belly of the pregnant mother-to-be. (Note: While it may seem grammatically incorrect or at the very least unnecessarily redundant to use ‘pregnant’ as an adjective for mother-to-be, it is absolutely correct in our case. We are both mothers-to-be, but only one of us happens to be pregnant.) And that’s just the beginning of it. There are roll-top bands, demi-bands, hidden bands, and full up-to-your-breasts bands. (Note: In the photos, A is wearing one of two new pairs of panel jeans purchased at the Mall of America yesterday. This pair is from GAP Maternity and has a built-in demi-band. In the photo below, you can see A still has obliques @ 14 weeks. How awesome is that?) The demi-band is thicker elastic and fits a bit more snuggly than the roll-top or the full elastic. The hidden band is elastic that’s been placed inconspicuously in the back of the pant. No one may know you’re pregnant if the elastic is in the back of your pants, but there is a bit of the toddler pants effect. The roll-top is a bit funny – looks like a lot of unnecessary fabric that’s doubled over in early stages of pregnancy, and can be unrolled in later stages. The upside to this pant is its longevity, which is crucial in planning a summer/fall/winter pregnancy wardrobe that doesn’t cost more than the first year of daycare. The full-size band was the most surprising to both A and me. Although the oddest-looking of the bunch, it is by far the most comfortable. The material is thin and super-stretchy, which best fits the shape of the belly all through the second and third trimesters…and truly reaches all the way to the underside of the breasts. After a grueling 4-hour trip to the Mall of America, A ended up with four pairs of full-banded pants (plus one demi-band pair, four shirts, and the cutest little fall jacket).

They even make a maternity accessory that’s just a band in itself, allowing you to wear the pants from your pre-pregnancy wardrobe for as long as possible by unsnapping, unbuttoning, or unzipping them and fitting this wide piece of elastic fabric over the top to cover what you’ve undone. Getting it on is a trick not so unlike the actual birth process. You push your head through the elastic fabric, and scoot it down past your shoulders and slither up through it while pushing it down over your torso (A tells me she pulls it up over her hips, but this ruins my birthing analogy) and then pinch and pull and reposition until it looks…well…like a pair of paneled pants.

our little alien

I get it now. The relentless enthusiasm parents have for shooting hours and hours of video of their kids doing this or that amazing thing. We’ve all played the reluctant yet supportive relative sitting there watching hours and hours of video of the little one. And the parents are watching it for the umpteenth time yet appear as if they were seeing Old Faithful spout off for the first time. It’s only their nuanced narration enhanced over multiple viewings that gives them away.

Yesterday we spent about an hour watching our little bun on a video monitor alternately sleeping, squirming, kicking, rolling, yawning, and I kid you not, sucking its thumb. I could have watched that a gazillion times and it would still feel just as exciting. We had an early ultrasound to determine whether or not we would have twins. My mother recalled the Friends episode where they couldn’t make out anything in the sonogram. I think our family humored us when I attached those early images to an email saying, “You can see EVERYTHING! Isn’t it amazing!” When in reality one could see no more than a ragged outline of a fava bean.

I think these are WAY clearer. The ultrasound technician, knowing that no one sees what the parents see on the video monitor, kindly labeled these for us. I think the references help, don’t you?

Week 13

We’re entering the 13th week of alien invasion, I mean pregnancy. A is climbing out of the depths of first trimester nausea and fatigue. She’s actually starting to feel human again (except of course for the alien inside). The bump is getting…bumpier, which is a relief to A who had been feeling like she was growing a spare tire rather than a baby. I think the “beer gut” reference will soon go out of favor although it has been her choice phrase to date. It hasn’t been easy for A to navigate this physically ambiguous period. My increasingly protective nature makes me want to shout at those who might throw that sort of judging glance: “My A’s no liquor-guzzling slacker with lackadaisical fitness habits. She’s with child! How dare you!” Anyway, that’s what I imagine saying. But seriously, she’s feeling so much better that she’s easing back into her regular gym routine after a 6-week sabbatical which will make her much fitter than me in no time. (Actually, she’s always been fitter than me.) But I’m making a valiant attempt to get back on the exercise wagon. A says I need to be in training for when the baby comes – I’m no spring chicken after all. It’s a good idea in theory, prepping physically and mentally for the Baby-Raising Olympics. We’ll see if I can qualify for the team. Hey, if Dara Torres can do it, so can I, right?

Dates

It’s kind of funny how all of our significant dates so far already have significance in and of themselves. We had our first insemination on May 1, May Day. Whether you think of it as International Workers’ Day or the midpoint between the spring equinox and summer solstice, it still had meaning before we were celebrating it as Conception Day. And we got it on the first try. Crazy, huh? We held out until May 11 to do our first pregnancy test, again getting lucky on our first attempt. Woo! This year, May 11 was Mother’s Day and A’s mom was visiting from Ohio. She was pretty excited to be the third person to know and to know within minutes of our finding out. We were all bleary eyed and still in pajamas. That was pretty cool. Then when our midwife told us our due date was January 23, A’s Dad’s birthday, we were like, “you’re kidding me!” It all sounds too planned and neat and fairy-tale like, but it really is just the way it happened. I guess we’ve been kissed by luck so far.

First sighting

A is starting to look a little pregnant.